Thursday, April 03, 2008

Peach, Pear & Hair Pie at the Redneck Cafe

Think this pie looks tasty? Well, I thought it looked edible, at least until I found the mysterious wad of black hair embedded on the underside of the crust (I didn't photograph it for fear it would elicit universal gagging)

The name of the cafe should have been enough cause to pause, but it was a warm day and my friends and I were in the middle of nowhere and I had a sweet tooth so, enroute to Oregon, we pulled off the interstate up next to the Red Neck Cafe to get a little treat. The cafe is in a one-horse town called Durkee:

Of course I'm addicted to pie, so we had to stop by the pie counter to see if we could find something appetizing and perhaps unusual. Unusual we did find, in the form of a peach, pear pie. The pie was okay until I noticed something black hiding discreetly under the crust. Dare I think it was a human hair? (retelling this story plays with my "gag" reflex, so I have to be careful) THIS IS NOT ANOTHER URBAN LEGEND! Don't eat the pie at the Red Neck Cafe, I repeat... DON'T EAT THE PIE at the Red Neck Cafe... unless that is, you like peach, pear and hair pie.

Look at this lady, she looks so happy to offer me a slice of pie. Did she know what secrets the pie held?

I pulled up the top of the crust and discovered a wad of black hair, like steel wool embedded in the underside of the crust. Eeeeew!! It's one thing when there's a single strand of hair there, but this was a knappy knot of black hair wrapped together and baked into my peach, pear pie. YUM! It gives me the heebie jeebies just thinking about it.


Has anyone else found hair in their food? What do you do? What is it about hair in food that just sends me over the edge?? If it's my own hair, it's not so much of a problem. And I have to admit, if it's the hair of a friend, it seems I'd have less of an aversion. Though I still won't politely pick it out and continue to eat it.

My GAG REFLEX is triggered in direct proportion to a few variables:

Variables that factor in:

#1 The appearance of the chef: his/her grooming habits and physical traits. I tend to gag less if they look groomed.

#2 Curly black hair and signs of pot-bellied, grisly-bearded chef in the kitchen wiping sweat and steam from his meaty forehead. If his teeth are decaying or crooked, this cranks up the "gross factor" even more (at the sign of a hair from forementioned guy, I just might have to vomit.)

#3 The appearance of the strand of hair itself: Is it curly, long, short, yellow, black, brown? Ick!!Or is it (like the one I found) a multi-haired, unruley black wad?

#4 Where I discover the hair (starting with the most discusting first.)
Pulling it from my mouth.
In my food (did I have to pull it out of my food?) It seems grosser if I pull it out of something soupy or saucy.
Laying next to my entree.

I have to admit one time while at a restaurant in Idaho when I was young and stupid, I found a hair in my hoagie. I didn't want to cause a stink and I was starving and in a hurry, so I took it out and finished my sandwich. I sort of prided myself for being "low-maintenance," and not complaining. But after eating it I just wanted to vomit hair and hoagie all over the restaurant. Wouldn't that be a nice little tip for the waiter?


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